Which tree tribe are you in this Christmas?

There seem to be two schools of thought this December. Either you’re going hard on festive jollity – perhaps your house already looks like a scene from White Christmas – or you’re pretending the whole event isn’t happening yet. 

It’s tempting to postpone festivities, but after a very strange few months there is a lot to be said for going all out, and going early. We’re a nation of sticklers who normally turn our noses up at the sight of a Christmas tree before December 1, but an awful lot of people seem to have thrown caution to the wind this year and put them up already, or are planning to this weekend. And who can blame them? Spending an inordinate amount of time pondering a theme for your tree and ordering novelty baubles could be just the distraction we all need. 

The only question is, what is your 2020 Christmas aesthetic, and could this be the year to mix it up? Are you a minimalist or a maximalist? Does the mere thought of a theme make you shudder? Do you love kitsch or are you a slave to Scandi chic? Is just one enough? Whatever you choose, there’s a tree tribe for you…

The Covid crew

There seems to be a growing and, frankly, worrying trend for topical ornaments this year. Instagram is full of people showing off mask-wearing Santas, tiny ceramic loo rolls with “2020” emblazoned on the sheets (quite why you’d want that on your tree is beyond me), sparkly superhero NHS nurses, and wooden snowflakes complete with “fun” messages like “Our First Pandemic”. 

Should you want to use your tree as a tableau on which to document this year of years, look no further than Etsy, a treasure trove for niche pandemic-themed decorations. And if political statements are your thing, a Cheltenham based company called Betsy Benn is selling tasteful wooden cutouts of Kamala Harris and Joe Biden wearing Santa hats. 

The kitsch crowd 

Of all the years to eschew the minimal Scandi chic look and go all out, it is surely this one. It’s been a tough few months so you might as well throw unholy amounts of tinsel and fairy lights at the problem. If you favour an Eighties snow-tipped, pre-lit artificial number, John Lewis has a huge variety. It’s even added a new augmented reality function on its app that allows you to browse the different trees and visualise how they will look in your room. Anthropologie does a good line in kitsch decorations – think multicoloured monogrammed felt wreaths, or a sparkly London taxi – while in Paperchase you can find all manner of emoji ornaments and various metallic sea creatures. Is it tacky? Yes, definitely. Should that put you off? No, particularly not in a year where NHS rainbows have been plastered on all our windows and front doors – it seems only fitting to adorn your tree with every colour on the spectrum, too.

The eco warriors 

For some, this is the year to go green. We buy eight million Christmas trees in the UK every Christmas, which come January are unceremoniously binned. That comes with a hefty carbon footprint – according to the Carbon Trust, a two-metre tree that ends up in landfill produces 35lbs of CO2. It’s why some companies have started offering trees to rent. You take your pine home in a pot, water it daily and in the new year it’s collected, replanted and left to grow until next year. It also tends to be a little cheaper than a cut tree. 

And if you’re looking to move away from a traditional tree entirely, John Lewis do a Scandi wooden number with little pine cone decorations, and Not on The High Street has various oak carved alternatives. 

If you like your decorations to be sustainable too, try recycled glass lanterns from Nkuku, or try making your own upcycled leather bauble with a kit from Yodomo. 

The influencers

Instagram is awash with influencers swapping the traditional Nordic pine for an elaborate display of blush and beige coloured pampas grass. Once a must-have in every suburban front garden, more recently it fell out of fashion due to the (entirely unsubstantiated) idea that it signalled that swingers lived in the house.

Well, lovers of the Seventies revival rejoice – it’s back, and being used to create beautiful arches and garlands by the social media “it crowd”. You’ll need to buy an awful lot of pampas grass and set aside the best part of a day to get crafty if you want to give this a go. But this could be the year to pour yourself a large mulled wine and give it a go. It beats dragging all the old decorations out of the loft only to realise the lights don’t work. 

Or you could follow the lead of the interiors gurus that work wonders with IKEA products and try the Swedish juggernaut’s bamboo tree, which rather resembles several lampshades placed on top of each other – but whatever floats your boat. 

The foodie fans

Being able to eat your decorations seems like as good a plan as any. After all, we are going to be spending an awful lot of this Christmas at home. Economical, too, as come Twelfth Night any chocolates will have been demolished and taking down the tree will be straightforward. John Lewis is selling mini bottles of gin to hang on the branches, Hotel Chocolat has little crackers filled with chocolate, and if you want to make your own, Wish sells empty bauble-shaped bottles you can fill with your treats of choice. And there’s always the old fashioned fail-safe – orange slices dried out in the oven and threaded with twine. 

If you’re after a foodie theme, but don’t want your tree to be entirely edible (perhaps you’re one of the thousands who bit the bullet and got a lockdown puppy, whose tummy would not appreciate a gold coin) there are any number of gastronomic baubles out there. This year my tree features a sparkly sprout, a metallic lemon, and a golden croissant among other goodies. Everywhere seems to stock them these days, running the gamut from tasteful to garish, but I must admit I have my eye on a little bottle of glittery soy sauce from Anthropologie. 

The two-tree tribe

For some, 2020 calls for excess. Why have one tree when you could have two? Or three even? One approach is to go for the real deal in the living room, but have little artificial trees in other rooms. You could have a different theme for each ‒ an underwater motif in the bathroom, a foodie feast in the kitchen, and one tucked away in the spare room for all the tatty but sentimental decorations your kids made at nursery. They’ll all make you smile. And this year, there’s a lot to be said for a heavy dose of comfort and joy.

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