Untangling John Mayer’s Surprising Dating History

After her marriage to Nick Lachey ended, Simpson decided to have a little fun. And she left a mark—on Mayer and the zeitgeist. In 2010, about three years after they split up, Mayer infamously told Playboy, “Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm.”

Well, that was rude. Simpson agreed, and it was indeed a loose-lipped moment Mayer would come to regret.

“It’s more embarrassing [than anything else], ’cause I’ll walk into a restaurant or something and I’ll notice more men are looking at me,” Simpson, pressed for her reaction, said on The View in 2010. “And he’ll never have this napalm again.”

When they actually disentangled themselves for good, in June 2007 (with Mayer still shy of 30), a Simpson source told People, “They broke up Sunday night, but who knows what the future will hold. This is the twelfth time they’ve broken up. Their relationship is volatile. Last week they felt better than ever. This week, things are rocky. Who knows what the future will bring?”

Who could have guessed? Meanwhile, Mayer said on Watch What Happens Live! in April that, yes, he was aware Simpson had released a memoir and, quoting, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, “I don’t have to watch it, Dottie. I lived it.”

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